July 14th 2007
12:01 PM

“Don’t do it Josh…” The voice of Sanctum Nocturna commands from the back of his mind. “You’re going to kill us both, are you fucking stupid?”

For the first time in months, Joshua ignores the voice in his head, and steps towards the end of the table.

“NO!” Sanctum shouts louder, but still Joshua remains unhindered. This is one of those things you don’t half-ass. Still determined, and more ready then ever Joshua steps to the edge of the table with the noose fit snuggly around his neck, then drops off.

*SNAP*

*CRACK*

*CRASH*

Joshua’s eyes flutter open, as the soft morning breeze brushes bare flesh. The sun is out, the clouds float lightly upon the baby blue sky.

Is this Heaven? Joshua thinks to himself, before pushing up on his hands. Looking down at himself, he finds that he is stark naked, bathing in the buff atop a grassy hilltop.

He rises from the grass and glances around him. No one else is in sight, in fact nothing else is in sight. A little confused, and partially concerned Joshua begins to head down the hill, but as he reaches what should be the bottom he finds himself right back where he started, at the top. The bible says that hell is repetition, and any Catholic could tell you that suicide was a one-way trip to hell.

Nerved, and anxious Joshua runs toward the bottom of the hill again, but once again he returns to the hilltop.

Hell is repetition.

For the last few months Joshua has lived in a perpetual state of fear, but this was the ultimate fear. As though in sync with his mental state the fluffy white clouds overhead darkened, and a crash of lightning lit up the sky, followed by the ceremonious boom of thunder. And so the heavens opened wide, and a torrent of rain fell upon the earth in catastrophic proportions.

In mere moments his naked flesh became chilled, as the wind picked up in an enormous gush blowing the grass viciously. Particles of dust danced along the cyclonic breeze surrounding The Paladin, whom could only look on in awe.

Another crack of thunder lights up the sky, followed by a crash of thunder. The previously blue sky has become pitch black, but even in utter darkness Joshua’s eyes fall upon a familiar pair icy blue eyes. Unlike a normal human, these eyes posses a certain shine characteristic of only animals. To be honest, the man before him now is closer to an animal then any man he has ever met.

Joshua’s gaze falls upon his foe, his nemesis, his alternate personality; Sanctum Nocturna.

“Thought you could rid of me so easy did you?” His voice mocks, followed shortly by a devilish cackle. “Even in death I will control you Joshy, and I’m taking you straight to hell.”

Fear washes over him, as his foes words echo within the confines of his head. Joshua stands frozen in his place, entrapped by the fear that has haunted him for many years. The cold of the rain fails to compare to the icy chill sent down his spine, only one man has ever had the power to do that, and that man stands before him now.

“What’s the matter, Sanctum got your tongue?” Sanctum inquires. “Are you scared of the big bad boogeyman?”

Mustering his courage, Joshua peels his foot from the wet earth and steps toward Sanctum, and when his foot hits the earth again it seems to sink. He takes another step with leaden legs, and then another. Each step grows easier, as he approaches the one he has sought to vanquish.

“Look around you Joshy, the sky is pitch black and there’s a storm coming.” Sanctum ridicules, “I am the nocturnal one, I thrive in these environments, what have you to defend yourself with?”

His voice is hoarse, his mouth dry but Joshua musters up the courage to stand up to his adversary. “I am something you are not…” Joshua begins, pausing to try and work some salvia into his mouth. “I am a Paladin, like many before me, I shine light where there is dark, bring hope where there is none. By design I am destined to defeat you.”

Another crack of thunder reverberates through the open skies, as the rain turns into drizzles. Sanctum’s eyes remained fixated on Joshua’s, and the closer Joshua comes to Sanctum the more intense his gaze becomes.

“Are you on your silly God kick again Joshy? Do you think God looks upon those who kill themselves with favor? Suicide is the ultimate sin, and what a way to end the ultimate sinner.” Sanctum replies, letting his words fall sink in. “I’ve been apart of you for sixteen years, I was there when you were strung out on coke, I was there when you killed your father, I was there when you philandered away with any loose woman that would have you. I know your sins Josh, and your God knows them too, what makes you think he stands behind you now?”

Sanctum’s words sting, but The Paladin will not be denied, he continues his approach upon Nocturna, closing the gap to within a foot or less.

“Because I asked him to, that’s why.” No sooner then Joshua replies, a bolt of lightning comes crashing to the earth through Sanctum. Sanctum bellows out in pain, before collapsing to the earth in a fried heap. “That’s all I ever had to do was ask.”

Overhead the clouds begin to disperse, the drizzling ceases and once again a baby blue sky is accented with the fluffiest of clouds. Joshua drops to his knees and then darkness overcomes him.

Joshua lay upon the floor in a crumpled heap. The noose still holds around his neck attached a few feet away from the support beam the rope had hung from, which also lay upon the floor.

Slowly coming to, he rubs the inside of his hand across the back of his head. The fall from the table left a nice bump on the back of his head. But at least, he was still alive. “I’m alive…” Joshua spurted out, hearing those words left a chill in his spine. If he was alive, maybe Sanctum was still there.

Joshua rose from the floor gingerly, wiping his hands along the sides of his pants. They weren’t soiled, nor were they really wet, but clammy. A trickle of sweat rolls down the side of his cheek, and the pure cold sensation it causes makes him cringe.

Kosidlo had intended to end his own life, to keep Sanctum from controlling him. Now, that Joshua was still alive, he had to wonder if Sanctum still sat there in the back of his head, perhaps he was running things, perhaps he even sawed the beam so that Joshua could not go through with it. Hell, everything his alternate personality had put him through this concept wasn’t that farfetched.

Concerned, he examined the beam, but found no indication of a saw or anything that was used to cut the beam. As far as he could tell, it just gave. As the realization of this washed over him, it was obvious Sanctum had played no part in it. He had been pretty certain the beam would hold him, why it was only seven months old, but it buckled and broke under his weight.

“He’s gone Josh…” a light Irish accented voice states. “And you’re still here.”

Joshua turns, to find his guide David O’Malley standing in the doorway of the foyer and the dining room. “Good.” Joshua replied, glancing back at the beam. “I don’t know how I lived, but I did.” Joshua pauses for a moment, his eyes locked upon the beam. He can feel O’Malley watching him, but doesn’t bother turning back to him, O’Malley knows what he’s thinking, and neither man need to put it into words.

“I called your wife, she’s coming home tonight, with the kids… and she’s got something to tell you.” O’Malley added, “You can go back on living your life now Josh, it’s over. Your normal again.”

A smile crosses Joshua’s thin lips, “She’s pregnant…” Joshua turns to face O’Malley, and his smile is wider now then it was. “I’m gonna be a dad again.”

O’Malley only nods his head, “Yes you are.”

Joshua turns away from O’Malley again, bending to pick up the broken beam, and the rope. “I’ll have to call someone to fix this tomorrow…” He states, as he turns back to face O’Malley, but when he does the Irish man is gone. Kosidlo just smiles again, and heads out to the garage to take care of his mess. Angel will be home tonight, so he’s going to make sure everything is perfect for her arrival. Kosidlo may not know everything, as O’Malley seems to, but he knows his wife, and that’s one thing no one else can claim like he can.