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We're Not Gonna Take It
Starring: ???
"Okay Gentlemen, It appears we're done for the evening."
With a hearty laugh, the Executives at Playboy TV collected their coats, muttering lightly about getting together at a local bar for a beer later. As they headed to the door of the board room it was flung open. The offender is unseen, our viewpoint shows only the shocked faces of the executives.
"Uhh, like, Not so fast!"
A female voice erupts from outside the door, but we're still not seeing a face. The head executive marches to the front of the pack, setting his jacket down on the conferance table.
"Miss Marshall, is this neccasary? It's quitting ti-"
"Uhm, like, of course it is! You guys just totally ruined my show for the second week in a row!"
"I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."
At these words, a tall blonde enters the scene. The camera is on only her back, but her long curly blonde hair can still be seen. She grabs a remote from the desk and turns it toward a TV. Some random acts of nudity appear on the screen, rather than our scheduled programming, KillZone 09.
"You don't have any idea what i'm talking about? How about the fact you didn't air my show last week? Or this week?"
"Miss Marshall, a recent study showed us that JJ's Wild Homoerotic Adventure showed better ratings than FUSE-w's Killzone show. Don't worry, it'll rebroadcast early this morning."
The blonde replied with enough vibrance to make Lindsay Lohan blush, "I don't THINK so."
"We've got a contract. It's like, valid! and signed by Law people! and it says that KillZone airs Wednesday Night at 10 PM! So either you air it right now, or I'll do something in court!"
"Ugh, fine."
The exec pulls his cell phone from his pocket, punching in the random numbers of his superior. After a brief conversation he returns to the blonde.
"Fine. It's done, the show will start in a few minutes."
Satisfied with her handiwork, the Blonde turns on her heel and leaves the board room.
The Office
Starring: STD, JD Cross
We head to Smitty T. Duluth's office, where the new Commissioner of FUSE is sitting at his desk. All of a sudden, there is a knock at the door.
Smitty: Come in!
Into the office stomps JD Cross, who looks right at the stripper on the pole in the center of the office.
Cross: What the fuck is that?
Cross points at the stripper, who is paying him no attention.
Smitty: That, my good man, is God's sweetest gift to mankind.
Smitty just smiles as he shakes his head watching the woman really putting it down on the pole before finally turning his attention to Cross.
Smitty: So what can I do for you? By the way, since I've never met you, I'm Smitty T. Duluth. FUSE Commish!!!!
Cross keeps his attention on the stripper.
Cross: Hey, skank. Get dressed and get out!
Cross turns to look at Smitty as the stripper starts to get dressed and starts to leave.
Smitty: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!
Smitty jumps up from his desk and tries to convince the stripper to stay. After a few moments of very "intense" negotiations Smitty convinces her to return to his office in a few minutes and continue the show. As she leaves he turns his attention back to Cross.
Smitty: What in the hell is wrong with you? You allergic to naked women or something?
Cross looks Smitty dead in the eye.
Cross: What's this I hear about you pulling me from all my bookings? Then I see you with a stripper when you should be working at getting me back in the ring.
Cross walks right up to Smitty's face.
Cross: First it's Cheryl Madison trying to turn me into a road agent, then Duke Williams giving me this stupid fucking name, now you take me away from the ring.
Smitty: You telling hot women who are naked to get dressed and leave is a damn good start to why I'd take you out of the ring! But more importantly to that I'm doing what I feel is best for FUSE. I need room on this roster to recruit some big time talent to FUSE. International talent that will bring us HUGE exposure. You know what they say about huge exposure don't you?
Cross: The kind of "exposure" you want is illegal in 49 states.
Smitty *A smirk*: Touché. None the less FUSE needs more of the good kind of exposure and you simply aren't getting it done from what I can tell. I mean if the previous two you mentioned didn't have anything good to say for you then what am I suppose to think? Give me one good reason why I should see you for anything more than what they did.
Cross: Madison saw me as a meat puppet. Williams wanted to make more money off of me by taking my name from me.
Cross picks up a rather "erotic" piece off of Smitty's desk, and sets it back down.
Cross: Williams mustn’t have thought too little of me to put me in the Asylum match, now, did he?
Smitty scratches his goatee for a moment before slapping Cross on the shoulder.
Smitty: Tell you what. How would you like to be a BIG part of FUSE getting this new international exposure?
Cross: What the fuck are you talking about? My being in the ring should be enough for you.
Smitty: Well you see I have a much better slot for you. I've done my homework a bit, my good man, and I happen to know that you've trained many good wrestlers in your time. Including your brother who works for GCW which, despite what I or others might think about them, are a huge promotion in the world of wrestling. With that in mind I feel like you're just the sort of guy we need out there recruiting that international talent.
Cross: You want me to find your international talent for you. Are you mad? You're asking me to hire my fucking replacement.
Smitty *A smile*: Actually I'm not asking you to. I'm telling you that if you'd like to continue to be part of FUSE that it's your only option. It's either that or sit on the sidelines with nothing.
Cross turns and walks out the door. He sees the stripper sitting there waiting.
Cross: Here's five hundred buck and cab fare home. Take a hike.
Cross turns back into the office as the stripper leaves.
Cross: Smitty, just remember, if I bring someone in, you aren't going to like him.
Smitty: Trust me. After you just sent my entertainment home I highly doubt I'll like him any less than I like you at this moment.
No Way
Starring: Scott Ambrose, Hunter Jones, Candy Marshall
The show was over.
The matches were done.
The fans in the arena were pleased, but the fans at home didn't share these emotions.
For the second week in a row, Playboy TV had attempted to postpone KillZone. This time, only the final segments were making the cut, and none of the matches were going to see air time during the live edition.
Before the show could end, the techno sounds of random porn music began to play over the FUSEWire.
The Blonde from the previously taped segment made her way onto the stage, a mic firmly gripped in her hand. She made her way down the aisle, and slides into the ring, whispering something to SKYE.
SKYE: Ladies and Gentlemen.. I'd like to introduce at this time.. the new.. Chairwoman of FUSE Wrestling Entertainment..
.. CANDY.. MARRRRSHALLLLL!
SA: WHAT?
HJ: .. Oh YES!
SA: Isn't Candy Marshall?
HJ: A PORN STAR! OH MAN, I'M GLAD WE DON'T HAVE ANYONE HERE WHO THINKS THAT OBJECTIFIES WOMEN! WHOO!
Candy Marshall: Uhh, like.. Heyzzies!
The crowd gives her a decent ovation, because they're mostly perverts.
Candy Marshall: Okay so, like, I've TOTALLY got some, like, news! Isn't that cool? I mean tonight, like, Playboy TV forgot to air our show! THE BIG MEANIES! so, I totally had to show up at headquarters and straighten them out. But that's not important!
From the back walks a man with a briefcase. He has a list in his hand, and climbs into the ring.
Candy Marshall: Okay I've been totally watching the show for SO long, and now I've got a list of people who are no longer with the company, because I'm super professional!
SA: This woman.. Owns us?
HJ: She can own me any night of the week. I'll even bring the lube!
Candy Marshall: Okay first off, Mikael Lundgard is totally gone!
SA: WHAT?!
HJ: NOOOOO!
Candy Marshall: His girlfriend called me and started bitching, but all I heard was 'Blah Blah Blah, I'm a dried up hag, with like, no titties!', so he's totally out!
SA: I did hear rumors about Lundgard's girlfriend being against our move to Playboy.
HJ: Feminazi.
Candy Marshall: And tonight, these CHAOS guys totally ruined the main event! So, like.. fired!
SA: Candy's cleaning house!
HJ: She could clean my house.
Candy Marshall: Whose this Kannon guy getting all the air time? Uhh! Like, I dunno! FIRED!
The fans are in total shock at this.
Candy Marshall: Also! This Revolution show! I don't like it right now! Summers nearly over, why are we all mucked up here in Michigan? I don't think so! So Revolution is postponed for now, and KillZone 10 will take place in one of my favorite places, ever! LAS VEGAS!
Pop for immorral locations.
Candy Marshall: And, like.. THE MAIN EVENT! It'll be totally like, for the Universal championship! Damien Cruz will be defending the title against Tigera, with a super secret, sexy, Special Referee! HOW HOTT IS THAT?!
Seemingly done with her speech, the Boss drops her mic and skips to the back.
HJ: If we get to see that every week, I'm going to need to bring extra boxers to the show. I'm totally spent.
SA: .. Get away from me, please. Ladies and Gentlemen.. NEXT WEEK, VEGAS, BABY! THREE HOUR EXTRAVAGAZNA! PEAAAACE!
KillZone 09
S h o w C l o s e . |
